Thursday, November 08, 2018

3 friends and value of friendship

This is story of 3 friends of mine AM, KT and SK. 
The story brings out that friendship or relation is more important then money.

Lets start with AM. He was my best buddy in engineering college. We were very close friends and knew almost everything about each other. He was the most egoistic guy from outside and the most helpful, understanding guy from inside. He came in a little later in our college but we got along well quickly. After college also we were in touch with each other. AM Moved to USA for studies while I started working for an IT company in India. Fast forward 3 years in to my job and first year of job of AM in Chicago. I got a chance via my company to go to USA. I landed in NJ in 2014. My first visit to USA while AM had been in USA for 3 years now with 2 years of studies and few months in to his job.

Both me and AM grew up in middle class family. When I came to USA, I was paid very less. Not that AM was earning too much. At one point, were talking about me visiting him at Chicago. I looked up flight tickets. I think it was 140USD one way which for me was expensive at that point Plus trip expenses. BTW - Born Kutchi :)

Ameya bought and send tickets to me. Not only this but he received me at the airport and we wanted to hug but the presence in USA did not let us hug. We did have a long discussion about it later in the trip. He took me for 3-4 day trip to near by places in chicago in rented car. He paid for all expenses including lunch breaks, ice creams. I may have paid once or twice not during the entire trip.

Looking back, I realise even AM did not have too much money on hand but for him my friendship was more valuable then money. This was a big lesson for me. It was not about money for him at all. He never for once ever made me realise that he had done this for me.

Thank you AM

Lets come to KT: He came in by failing a previous year. 2 completely different personalities.
Me as meek as one could be with no guts to confront and KT will walk out of a running lecture saying he has upset stomach and he cannot hold it any longer :)

We were not great friends till last year. But sometime during last year, we came to know each other. 

KT was a completely different personality. He had a lot of violence inside him and used to break signals on bike and pipes of college bath room all alike :) 

For some unknown reason,  we kept in touch with each other. He wanted to do business from day one and I had no guts to jump in any sort of business. My father was bank manager for 33 years in 1 bank. I hardly saw any business men while I was growing up. I was largely influenced by family background for the financial security tied to a job.

KT went on to do MBA and I went to do IT and then went to USA. KT had a yahoo group he used to post and I used to enjoy reading his email. He became a stock trader. He asked me to trust him with my money which I did. I think we both were very naive, young but we valued our friendship so much.

He lost my money in a big number. On top of it, I lend him some money at different times. At one point things even turned soar. 

However, few years down the line, KT returned every money he took from me with interest. 

This time I invested my time and we build IT company to gather. It paid off for both of us. We both worked in different start ups and different levels of failures and some level of success.

The whole point here, it was easy for KT to declare he had no money to pay and I could not have done anything. But he never let that feeling come to me. He paid everything back in full. Although both our action of trusting a novice for money and KT using my money for stock trading were wrong, our friendship was our priority. And I would not repeat my action because I now value our friendship more and would not even try to ruin it by lending money.

KT is a man of sansakaras, he also has the ego of the same or ego of knowing too much :) Thats just judgement of him, however, Who am I to judge him, nobody!

We are really opposite personalities, I on hand do not think through all barriers about things I go to do. He will think about everything that can wrong. Each has its own pros and cons and is coming from the past baggage

KT: Thank you

Last but not the least is SK

SK and I had the best alignment. We were probably most similar across all the friends I had in this life time. SK and I met in Mithibai college. we were both from middle class. we had lot of similarities.

We went to different engineering colleges but were still in constant touch. His friend circle was completely different then mine. My friend circle was more middle class then him :)

SK and I have been friends for longest time. we are still in touch he meets me every time he comes to Mumbai. We can still talk for few hours about things we probably don't talk to a lot of people around us.

For me, its very sacred friendship. SK is the simplest and down to earth guy and accepts so many perspectives of the same thing without much perception.

He is the one who has accepted me as I am and I am very glad for the same. He has accepted whatever path I have chosen to move ahead in my living. 

Every year, I approach him to donate a portion of money to a NGO which believe is serving a higher purpose in human evolution. He donates it without a 2nd thought in his mind.

It just goes to show, he values our friendship more then money.

SM - Thank you

I have made many friends along the way, some have made a space in heart. Even though we may not be in touch however even a phone call or meeting brightens up our day.

I personally feel, friendship is loosing its importance. The casualness in it is lost, its becoming more professional.

Coming to AM's hug episode at the airport. It was me who probably stepped back and when we parted the Chicago Airport, we did hug each other :)

Friends are for a life time, Friends forever. Cherish it.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Passion or equanimity

Its 11:30pm, my mind is running through some thoughts.

The whole world around you may think you are wrong. Thats the time to hold your ground.

That world is not yours, that world is not real.

Karma works in miraculous ways, nobody has figured it fully. We are too small to figure it out and may be we dont need to do it.

God created this world and he will take care of it including you.

You gotta be sure of that and not of anything else.

As I pen down these thoughts, I actually dont know who I am. Am I an engineer? Am I a sales guy? Am I a writer?

What is my passion? Is it necessary to have one?

If you dont have passion, is it okay?

There is got to be more to life then passion.

Its probably equanimity.

I have not discovered it yet but I am in search and flux.

Writing gives me joy and yes it does.

I am okay even if nobody reads it. But I do hope somebody does find it interesting.

Thank you
Him